


Pls Send Nudes

by Dilly_Oh



Category: Naruto
Genre: Humor, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Modern AU, Nudes/Naughty Pics, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-11 01:33:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7870348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dilly_Oh/pseuds/Dilly_Oh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What’s a lonely/horny man to do when his boyfriend is currently halfway across the globe? Send nudes, of course.</p>
<p>Prompt 2: <i>I’d really like a modern AU where Kakashi has a job that keeps him away for a while (business trips?). Iruka, feeling lonely, decides to film himself or send naughty pics to Kakashi. However, instead of reacting to the photos, Kakashi ignores them. Craziness ensues. They can have going home sex or whatever but isn’t necessary.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Pls Send Nudes

 Kakashi was ignoring the texts.

_What the fuck?_

Iruka was pissed, not to mention a little insulted. He had tried quite hard with the pics, especially that last pose. Wearing high-heels definitely wasn’t as easy as it looked. Iruka’s calves were still aching, but he thought it’d been worth it.

Or at least he _had_.

Kakashi hadn’t responded, not to any of them. Nothing, no reply, not even one of those stupid winking emoji’s or a God awful ‘k’.

Instead he’d gotten radio silence. For the past _three days_.

Iruka was used to being alone. Kakashi’s demanding-but-well-paid job forced him to travel frequently, following his rather eccentric (Iruka just straight up called him _weird_ ) boss halfway across the globe at the drop of a hat (or, in this case, a frantic phone-call at three AM). He would disappear every couple weeks on lengthy business trips, leaving Iruka all on his lonesome to deal with his own stressful-and-poorly-paid-but-ultimately-fulfilling teaching job and the large, empty house that seemed to become larger and emptier when Kakashi was absent. It wasn’t the first time he’d gotten bored and more than a little lonely and decided to spice things up with some racy pics, but it was the first time Kakashi had blatantly _ignored_ them.

Iruka checked his phone again, just on the off chance Kakashi had responded in the last ten seconds.

He hadn’t.

Fine. FINE. If he was going to be like that, Iruka was game.

“Try and ignore THIS one, jackass,” Iruka muttered to himself, stomping upstairs into the master bedroom. He angrily stripped off his shirt and pants, kicked his boxers across the room, then hopped on one foot to yank off his socks and almost fell over. The solution was simple. He’d just have to send Kakashi a picture so knock-out sexy, he’d actually HAVE a reason to not respond because he’d be sprawled out on the floor, drooling and unconscious.

It was time to send a nude.

Now fully naked, Iruka shivered a little and glanced down at himself.

_Not bad_ , he thought. _I’d be flattered to get nudes from me_.

As a final act of retaliation, he tugged his hair-tie out and shook his long dark hair free, scrubbing his fingers through the soft strands to achieve a satisfactory mussed look. Kakashi always went on about his hair, the length and the way he looked with it down, so Iruka was determined to use it to the fullest advantage and hit him where it hurt.

Iruka sat on the edge of their king-sized bed, knowing his bronzed skin would contrast beautifully against the white comforter, and held up his phone, hesitated, then snatched up a small pillow at the last second and positioned it over his lap. Yes, he was angry, horny, and a little hurt, but he wasn’t _crazy_.

Kakashi had to respond to this one. He HAD to.

_Fuck it._ Iruka tossed the pillow aside. _You asked for it, Kakashi_.

He leaned back across the blanket, lowering his lids and stretching out his long neck. Looking up at the camera through a screen of thick brown hair, he gave his best sexy smirk, and took the picture.

 

\---

 

Kakashi had ignored the nude. IGNORED IT. Just like the rest.

The one in the apron? Iruka could understand. The pic where he wore nothing but Kakashi’s shirt? Kakashi might complain about getting it wrinkled. The one with him wearing cat-ears? Okay, maybe that one was a little weird. But the nude?

No. No _way_. Iruka was a modest man, but even he had to admit that he’d been smoking hot in that particular picture, and there was absolutely NO reason Kakashi couldn’t have responded.

Unless he was dead. Which didn’t really matter because even if he wasn’t, Iruka was gonna kill him anyway.

_This is the last straw_ , Iruka thought as he viciously attacked another dirty plate, scrubbing at a food-stain with borderline violence. _When Kakashi gets back home, I’m going to_ -

A knock on the front door froze him in the middle of his furious dish-washing.

_…The hell could that be? The kid from next-door, maybe_? Iruka frowned over his shoulder in confusion. Naruto came over every now and then to bum a meal off him, even though Iruka knew his parents fed him plenty, and then some. He really should know better than to spoil the brat, but Iruka always did have a soft spot for troublemakers.

Perhaps this was what he needed, a welcome distraction to keep his thoughts from turning (any more) murderous.

Or maybe he just needed someone to yell at.

Another loud knock decided it.

The knocks had degenerated to frenzied banging by the time Iruka dried his hands and stomped over to the front door, flipped the lock, and yanked it open.

“Dammit, Naruto, WHAT-”

A large body barreled into him, pushing him inside and shoving him up against the wall, and Iruka was terrified for a split second before being kissed thoroughly. It was…familiar. He knew that kiss. That thing with the tongue. It could only be…

“Kakashi!”

“ _YOU_.” Kakashi pulled away to glare at him, but the heat behind those dark grey eyes had nothing to do with anger. “Do you have ANY idea what I’ve gone through because of you?”

“What YOU’VE gone thro-” Iruka’s protest was cut short as Kakashi pulled him in for another round. “ _Mmmph_ \- wait, Kakashi- why didn’t you unlock the _door_?!”

“Dropped my keys on the way up the drive,” Kakashi got out between kisses. “Running.”

“ _Running_? Why- _mmph_ \- Kakashi! Stop! Wait!” Iruka shoved him away, holding him at arm’s length and panting for air. Answers now. Sex later. If Kakashi’s answers were adequate, anyway. Hell, maybe if they weren’t- “What the FUCK is going on?! Why are you home?! Why didn’t you call- _no_! More importantly, why didn’t you respond to my pictures?! I sent you at least a dozen! I wore HEELS for you! Do you have any idea of the _agony_ \- and you didn’t even have the decency to _reply_! What could have been so _damn_ important-”

“Jiraiya was in a crisis,” Kakashi explained, taking a breath and loosening his tie. “He’d been suffering from writer’s block for the past six months. Icha-Icha was in danger of being canceled.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair, which looked as frazzled as he did. His suit was rumpled and his eyes had dark bags under them. The jet-lag seemed to be hitting him. “He called an emergency meeting with all of his staff to find a solution. Everyone went, Gai, Asuma, Kurenai, even Tsunade, and as his editor, of course I was required to attend. At the beginning of the conference, Jiraiya confiscated all our phones to… _encourage_ us.”

“…Sssso…you… _didn’t_ get the pictures? Any of them?” Iruka’s anger melted away, replaced with equal parts disappoint and relief. It’s not that he _didn’t_ respond, he _couldn’t_ respond. Then he remembered. “Not even…the last one?”

“Oh, yes, I got your _nude_ , Iruka.” Kakashi’s eyes darkened until they were nearly black, making Iruka shiver for all the wrong reasons. “ _DURING_ THE MEETING.”

Iruka felt the blood drain from his face.

“B-but…no-one…SAW, right-” he choked out.

“ _Jiraiya was holding my phone_.”

“OH MY GOD.” If Kakashi didn’t have an arm around him he’d probably have slid down the wall and hit the floor by now, his legs had gone so weak. “How…how did he…react?” A horrible thought made his legs go completely limp, but Kakashi kept him upright. “ _Kakashi please tell me he didn’t freak out and fire you and that’s why you’re home early_ -”

“He stared at it in silence for a full ten seconds, then looked up at all of us and stated, ‘…I HAVE AN IDEA FOR A NEW BOOK’.” Kakashi was grinning at him now, pleasure and happiness and pride shining through the haze of exhaustion on his face. He gave Iruka a little shake. “You SAVED us, babe.”

Iruka just gaped at him.

“I… _what_?!”

“He saw the other pictures, too, insisted I show him, really. He’s got enough material and ideas now for a whole new _series_ , all because of you. Thinking of calling it, ‘The Lonely Housewife’.” Kakashi chuckled. “He gave me a raise, and then finally let everyone leave.” He reached up and cupped Iruka’s cheek with his hand, gentle and caressing. “Just when I thought I couldn’t love you any more-”

“Wait, wait Hold on!” Iruka wailed, his head still spinning. “… _WHAT_?!”

“And that’s not even the best part,” Kakashi continued, his thumb rubbing soft circles on Iruka’s cheekbone. “As of right now, I’m on paid vacation…for THREE MONTHS.”

_Holy shit. Three whole months?_ Before Iruka could even process the information Kakashi stepped even closer, pressing him against the wall again and leaning forward to brush his lips against the scar on his nose.

“Can you guess what I’ll be doing the entire time?” he murmured in a soft voice, his eyes gleaming with anticipation.

The shivers came back with a vengeance. Gulping hard, Iruka grabbed him by the tie and reeled him in, stretching up to nip at his ear and whisper huskily, “… _Cleaning the garage_?”

With a whoop, Kakashi tossed him over his shoulder and ran up the stairs to the bedroom, their laughter echoing through the house.

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Send nudes at your own risk! ...Unless you're Iruka. Then DO IT.


End file.
